~*21 WEEKS*~

Well, getting closer! I am at 21 weeks today so I thought i should come on here and post again.
Baby boy is getting a lot stronger with the kicking, no fun at all for mama of course. But it is pretty cool to la back and watch my tummy move while he does. It doesn't seem like he sleeps much these days though lol. Especially when I'm sitting down, he kicks a lot then. I think it's because he is just so damn low that me sitting and putting pressure at my hip level makes him uncomfortable. I dunno.


but I have been having really bad lower back/hip pain. I finally googled around today and pin pointed where it was and found what the term for it was: Posterior pelvic pain. 
so basically, it starts about the 5th month and should ease up a few months after birth (here's to hoping!)


But it said to either go to a physical therapist (which i can't afford) or buy a maternity belt (which I can) So im going with the whole belt idea and see how it goes. I have read forums and reviews and apparently these give great relief for this problem in particular. Sooo as soon as chris gets home tonight I am going to sit him down and look at a few with me and hopefully get the ok to order one asap!


In other news, I figured out I was going to re-arrange dannika's room to make it two kid friendly in the next year. And I still have plenty of stuff to get so my next item to a bassinet to find! I can't find one in town anywhere that I like enough to buy.
so yeah...i guess that's it for now, and I'll get back to this next week


see yas

*20 weeks*

Well, here I am, 20 weeks, finally at the halfway point.

Dizziness has gone away pretty well. Sometimes I don't even "feel" pregnant these days, besides getting insane cravings or mood swings of course.

My aunt Gidget visited recently and dropped off a bunch of stuff for baby boy:

crib bumper, sheet and comforter in a cute jungle theme, crib mobile, tons of toys, hooded towels, socks, beanies and two mattress waterproof covers.  so that helps a lot.

Since we are not going to klamath falls after all, i  don't know what is going to happen at all, and Im scared shitless. No jobs, no money, a baby on the way in another four months...chris and I are constantly bumping heads from being so stressed out. And it doesn't help that it feels like I am going to rip my own face off around 8-9 pm every night...that's when I get my worst moody time frame and it's horrible.

But I don't know what on earth to do!

I can't work, so it's all up to him and he has been trying to get a job for months and now we've basically run out of time...

I'm not worrying about four months from now, I am worrying about two weeks from now, when we have to tell our landlord we don't have 1200 for her, or next week when we have to make the car payment, or phone bills....just...we have reached the end of our time it seems and I don't know where we'll go...every time we have had a really bad time, something's worked out in the end. but now, we're past that point of something randomly happening...and it's over. Unless magically we somehow earn or find like 3K in the next week, we are screwed. If we could do our tax returns early that would pay all the bills for about a month but that's it...we'd still be without an income unless Chris can land a job thats more than minimum wage full time...

I don't even have words for the despair I have been feeling the last few weeks. For how depressed I have become. I feel like every morning I drag myself out of bed, wondering why I should even try at all? But of course, I have dannika.  And every day she says to me "just tell me what's wrong mommy" like I can just explain this to her...I tried to half way tell her what is going on, because my parents never kept us in the loop when we were broke and couldn't buy food, or pay the bills. I wanted to keep dannika informed, because child or not, she is a part of this family too.

But now...I just feel empty, emotionless...I feel like I'm just scuffling along, dragging my feet, not knowing my direction or purpose in life. All of this is out of my control at this point and I'm sinking, drowning. I pretend to be happy when someone else is around, I fake enthusiasm for anything Dannika does that she wants a 'good job' out of me for or a smile to Chris when he makes a joke. Nothing is real anymore...it's all a blur, like my face is just wax, formed by other people into what they want to see in my expression. A melting wax figure, unfeeling and stiff.

And I am afraid all is lost. I think it is at this point.

18 weeks today :D

Well, I'm at 18 weeks. So far here is what's going on at this stage:

Dizzy all the flippin' time, belly is popping out pretty good now and I can now feel baby bean move from the outside instead of just the inside :) It's great being able to share that with chris and danni.

I'm going to call my doc's office tomorrow and see if I can get my US scheduled BEFORE chris leaved for vegas for training. I really want him to be here when we find out the sex of the baby.

SO crossing my fingers there :)

Also chris is turning 21 this friday, so that's exciting. So after the baby is born we're going to get a sitter and go out and have fun. Bu he doesn't drink anymore, hasn't for ages.

sooooo yeah. That's about it LOL

*17 weeks*

Well, another week gone. I made some maternity pants yesterday since I can't fit any of my old pants, which sucks lol. Oh well lol

I recently got a Precious Moments crib set for super cheap, so I'm happy about that. I revised our needs list again, and I made registries at Walmart and Babies r Us. It's pretty early for that, I know, but I like to have things planned out. I hate that there's still much to do but so much time still. I like to get everything done at once, have things squared away as soon as possible, but I can't do that of course. Maybe after tax return and we get settled down we buy all the baby stuff and get it set up, everything washed, put away. It'll be nice. Dannika is getting anxious for the new baby too. 

She keep asking when her little brother is going to visit. I told her the stork is going to be awhile because he's flying down from heaven to bring the little baby to us. She said ok and that she will wait for him lol.

I am not really sure if she will be there for the baby being born or not. She doesn't even like her daddy tickling me, so I don't think she should see something like this happening.

Well, today I weight 151 pounds and have the belly measurable of 37 1/4 inches respectably. The baby bump is growing nicely and I am excited about doing a belly cast around May. I also plan on having the baby shower in Grants Pass, even though we should be in Klamath Falls by then. That way all my friends can still come, a two hour drive is just too far for a baby shower, I know that for sure.

Well, I guess that's it for now. I'm going to post my list of things we still need just to share :)

Baby Needs:

8 SHort sleeve onsies

8 Long sleeve onsises

8 Sleepers

8 pairs of pants

8 shirts

10 pairs socks and booties

2 pairs of shoes

7-10 outfits

bunting bag or snow outfit

10 pairs mittens

8 beanies

8 recieveing blankets

10 burp cloths

14 bibs

4 8 ounce bottles, 4 4 ounce bottles

bottle strainer/dish rack

botle cleaning set

extra nipples

baby detergent

bath sling for tub

12 washcloths

baby soap and lotions, oil, powder

grooming kit

4 hooded towles

crib matress

bassinet

2 bassinet sheets

 3 set crib sheets

summer incline baby positioner 

4 matress protector pads and one matress protector sheet

Infant carseat

carseat padded support

snorky

baby thermometer

gas drops and tyenol

wipes and wipe warmer

baby sling

slumber bear for crib

baby gates and locks

2 change pad

car sun shade

6 pacifiers

baby toys

crib mobile

baby swing

belly time mat/gym

space saver high chair

diaper pail with refills

baby monitors, dual

MOMMY NEEDS

4 nipple shields

 large box nipple pads

lanolin nipple cream

6 nursing tank/ 4 bras

postpardem support belt

16 Weeks: Officially Four months A Long

Well, today is December 26th, 2010. The day after Christmas. Yesterday was my last big holiday as a mother of one. I am looking forward to having two kiddies around for thanksgiving and Christmas next year :)

Anyways, I have felt lately very stressed over the last month or so. I feel like there's still so much to do. And with Chris getting a job in Klamath Falls soon, we have to find a place to live, Danni and I will need new docs, we have to re-establish with DHS there...just over whelming...and he has to do a whole month of training, most likely in Las Vegas!! It sucks that he will be gone so long. I am really going to be miserable without him, but I will have to be as upbeat and happy for him as I can to support it. After all, we have the rest of our lives to be together right? We will miss each other dearly but its worth it in the end.

We still have hardly anything for the baby, but I guess most of it will have to wait until later when we are settled in. Hopefully dannika will start preschool next year too.

Anyway, it should be a few weeks when we know the sex of the baby so that's exciting. I am hoping for a girl, but I would love a boy too. Both have their ups and downs.

Dannika really wants a boy though. It's cute, she always talks to my belly and says hi baby brother :) It's very sweet.

So far I have gained four inches around the belly and am at 151 pounds. I am glad I am finally gaining weight. I haven't been 151 since two months after I had dannika, so I'm excited for sure. I have a chart hanging up in my bathroom to keep track at home. The doc's office scale says i weigh different, so I usually trust theirs more anyways. And I scrap booked a whole new baby book for the new little one. I'm excited about getting tarted on it :)

well, I guess that's it for now. I will be back on either next week or the week after :)

13 weeks, I'm Slacking!!

Well, I was supposed to be on here once a week to do my journal, but I lost my password and then couldn't find the damn site. Now I have everything saved and automatic, we should be good!
Anyway, today I am 13 weeks and 2 days pregnant. I have gained a total of 6 pounds so far and my belly is 37 inches around so far, which is about5 inches more than before. SO, all in all, we're doing well. My next ultrasound is on the 15th and I am super excited! I am going to ask my gyno if and when I can get one of those 3D ones because I really really want one for this baby bean. This is our last child so I want to make sure I do things differently and try to enjoy everything as much as possible, since I didn't before with my princess Dannika.

Dannika is doing well with the baby talk. Every time she sees anything baby related she says "Is that for our baby?" while she pats my tummy. She no longer says "mommy's baby" but "our baby" so I think she will do ok once the baby gets here in june. I am hoping that I can get everything collected before the last few months so I can just work on organizing and getting everything set up for the new babys arrival.

Here's everything we still need:


bassinet and bedding to go with
crib bedding set (we have dannika old crib)
infant carseat
space saver high chair
newborn clothes
binkies
bottles
bibs and burp cloths
lotions and shampoos
gas drops and teething gels
bumbo seat
baby cradle swing
moby wrap
nursery decor
baby bath system
teether toys
moses basket
sleep positioner
monitors
crib toy and mobile
nursery organizers and storage bins
extra sheets and mattress protectors
crib mattress
tummy time mat
slumber bear
diapers
wipes
gripe water
baby gates

well, you get the idea! LOL There's still sooo much to get and we have been collecting stuff slowly but surely as we can. Hopefully I can buy some stuff used, like the swing, moses basket even room decor. But there are some things I would rather have new for the new baby like the bedding or car seat (just to be safe ya know)

I have a few boxes of stuff already, and we have Danni's old crib along with a changing table, jumparoo and a carrier. I really want to get a Moby wrap or sling though. The normal carrier killed my shoulders when I used it for dannika, but then again she was a big baby after she started growing. My little chubawubbas.

Anyway...

I've been off work for almost two weeks now thanks to a muscle strain. Round ligament pain doesn't help either with healing, that's for sure. I am trying to talk my work into finding something for me that's easier on my body but they haven't found anything for me in the last two weeks so I will prolly be replaced if they can't accommodate my weight restrictions. But I'm going to keep looking for a new job and just cross my fingers that Chris can get one soon.

well, I'mma wrap this up with a poem for my lil baby bean:

Hello, sweet little baby growing inside

I guess we're both along for the ride.

I'm excited...I'm nervous...I'm filled with joy!

I can't help but wonder if you're a girl or a boy.

It's too soon to tell, which is just as well

It doesn't matter to me whatever you'll be.

Still, I catch myself... wishing I knew

what will you wear, pink or blue?

I am ready for you, either way

I find myself dreaming what we will play.

Tea parties for a girl, Sailboats for a boy 

as soon as I know, I'll buy you a toy.  

I can't wait to tell, everyone I know

the wonderful news... should I wait 'til I show?

Soon you'll see how much I care

there's so much to do, so much to share

But first I must thank God above

for sending you, for me...to love!

7 weeks, 6 days preggoness

Well, my belly is getting bigger and bigger every week, it's silly I think. But my morning sickness is getting out of hand these last few days. Some smells make me sooo sick, like burn piles outdoors, or cooking meat.

I bought the first baby item yesterday. A little pair of cream colored knitted booties. They're adorable! I am just so excited to have another baby. I think Dannika will make a perfect big sister. She's going to love this baby just as much as her mommy is. Chris is being pretty helpful most of the time. He seems to be doing it more for me than for himself though. I can't tell if he is really happy or if he's just being supportive for me. I hope sometime soon he actually shows interest in the whole baby thing. He started talking to my belly already though, it was very sweet.

My first ultrasound is on the second, which is only a few days away, I am so excited!

And dannika's birthday party is on the 20th and I still haven't ordered anything for her party. I don't have the money for it yet. I am hoping chris will figure out some magical way of making like $400 hahaha.

Anyway, I am not really sure what else to type soooooo thats it.